


It’s okay. I promise.

by StarsInANightSky (orphan_account)



Series: Me writing shit about Jay and Cole, because i ship Lego bricks i guess [8]
Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Jay has anxiety, M/M, Non-con NOT between jay and Cole, Panic Attacks, but i promise it gets fluffy, good vibes, is what i was looking for, jay has an abusive ex whoops, loving and supportive relationships only
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-04-24 06:16:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19167493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/StarsInANightSky
Summary: Just a lil fic about how Cole might react if Jay told him about an abusive ex boyfriend. Nothing graphic.





	It’s okay. I promise.

Jay was afraid.  
Jay Walker, master of lightning, was scared.  
It was dark, shadowy, and Jay could only hear his own breathing. He leant against the wall, cowering behind the desk.  
He was so fucking stupid.  
It was all his fault. Of course it was! He shouldn’t have dropped the plate. He’s just too clumsy.  
He deserved to be punished for that.  
Jay swallowed a sob, rubbing his arm.  
He deserved that bruise.  
Except, no, he fucking didn’t. He has to leave. He has to leave. This isn’t normal, this isn’t how love is supposed to be.  
This isn’t fucking love.  
Carlos walked into the room, with heavy footsteps.  
Jay tensed, unable to stop himself from sniffing.  
Carlos crouched next to him. And took his hand.  
“I’m sorry baby. I’m so sorry. I just - you know I can’t control myself when I get angry. I’ll never do it again, I promise. I love you.”  
Jay was pulled into a kiss.  
It was okay. Jay can forgive him.  
Just like all the other times.

“Babe? Are you alright?” Cole put the mug down. “Jay?”  
Jay nodded weakly, heart still pumping from the smashed plate by his feet.  
“It’s okay Jay. It’s just a plate. We can get a new one.”  
Cole stepped forward to start cleaning up the fragments.  
Jay had to stop himself from moving away.

“How fucking dare you?”  
Carlos slammed Jay’s head against the wall.  
“I fucking saw you flirting with her. You fucking sleaze. You think she’d want you? Huh? Do you?”  
Jay had smiled at a girl during a walk in the park.  
It was understandable that Carlos was upset.  
“You should be fucking grateful! No one else would date you. You’re lucky I want you, because no one else ever fucking will. Got it?”  
Jay nodded.  
“If I ever see you flirt with anyone like that again, I will fucking leave you. And then you’d be all fucking alone.”  
Jay nodded.  
Carlos released him, stomping away to cool off.  
Jay touched the back of his head. Oh. Blood.

Jay squeezed Nya’s hand, shooting her a bright grin.  
“I told you! I told you, you’d get into that college no problem. Fucking called it!”  
Cole entered the room, holding a bottle of champagne.  
Jay dropped Nya’s hand like it was burning, and stepped away from her.  
Cole raised a brow.  
“Should I be jealous?”  
“No. No.” Jay shook his head vehemently. “Only have eyes for you.”  
“Aw, babe.” Cole handed Nya the bottle. “But it’s okay to be flirty with other people. I trust you.”  
Jay’s heart thumped.

He couldn’t see. His face was shoved into the pillow, his breathing ragged, and his eyes squeezed tightly shut.  
Carlos ploughed into his ass again.  
“Good boy.” Carlos muttered.  
Jay didn’t want this.  
It was uncomfortable. And it hurt. And he felt vulnerable. He didn’t like it.  
But there was nothing he could do about it.  
Carlos wanted sex. Jay would let him take control of his body.  
It wasn’t like he could argue.  
Carlos gripped his neck then, leaning down to whisper in his ear.  
“You like it when I fuck you? Dirty fucking slut. You appreciate this, don’t you? No one else would ever want to have your disgusting body anywhere near them. You should feel so lucky I’m doing this for you.”  
Jay muffled a sob.

Cold and Jay hadn’t had sex yet. Whenever Cole attempted anything especially intimate, Jay would freeze up. Sensing the distress, Cole would stop, going back to small smooches, or taking the time to hold Jay’s hand.  
Jay was terrified about it.  
He wasn’t fulfilling his job. Cole wanted sex. Jay wasn’t giving it to him.  
Perhaps most confusing for Jay was the fact that Cole actually stopped when he thought Jay was uncomfortable. He didn’t ask, or pry, he just left it.  
That’s probably how relationships usually worked. Jay couldn’t get his head around it.  
Cole had lain off his attempts for a greater intimacy a while ago, focusing instead on small kisses and cheek caressing.  
It worried Jay.  
Cole was going to get bored and dump him. It was the last thing Jay wanted.  
God, why did he have to be such a pussy? Why couldn’t he get over himself?  
Cole pulled him in for a cuddle.  
“Why haven’t you had sex with me?” Jay blurted. His cheeks flushed. He wasn’t supposed to ask that. It wasn’t allowed.  
“Because you don’t want to? Unless I’ve been reading it wrong. You just get all tense whenever I try something.”  
“But you want sex.”  
“I mean, I guess?”  
“Then why don’t you?”  
“Because - Jay are you alright? You know how consent works, yeah?”  
“Mmhm. But like, you could just ignore it. I mean... not like I can say no.”  
Cole stared at him.  
“You can’t just ignore consent. Jay that’s... Jay that’s called rape.”  
OH.  
Carlos had..? No way. It was never that bad, right?  
“Babe?”  
“I’m fine.” Is what Jay tried to say. What came out was a sob.  
“Jay? Oh Jesus. Oh baby. It’s okay. I’’m here.”  
Jay shook his head at Cole’s outstretched arms. He already felt cramped. He didn’t need anymore.  
Everything was close and compact and-  
Fuck.  
Jay had been raped. Multiple times. By a man he had been in love with.  
He couldn’t breathe.  
“Get out.” Jay mumbled. “Leave. Please.”  
“What? Baby, I - you’re upset, I can’t just go! Jay, it’s okay, I’m here, I’m-!”  
“Please. Get out.” Jay bit down on his lip hard, “get out.”  
Cole hesistated, standing up slowly.  
“Are... are you sure? I don’t wanna leave you alone like this. Is everything alright?”  
Jay didn’t say anything. Just turned away from Cole.  
Fucking hell, breathe Jay. Breathe.  
A few moments later, Jay heard Cole leave and shut the door behind him with a click.  
Immediately, Jay locked it shut.

He’d fucked it all up.  
He felt awful. And gross. And everything was so, so tight.  
How was he supposed to keep going?  
Carlos had - Carlos had fucking...  
And now Cole was going to dump him.  
Jay knew it.  
Who would want damaged goods? All that baggage? Let alone someone who shuts everyone out when they’re upset.  
That’s not a very healthy relationship.  
Not like Jay could talk.  
Jay apparently knew jack shit about healthy relationships.  
He leant his head against the door, glancing at his clock.  
He’d been in here two hours now.  
Fucking hell.  
Jay heard footsteps and then a soft knock.  
“Jay,” Nya was quiet, “can I come in? Cole sent me. He doesn’t know if you want to talk to him.”  
Standing, Jay unlocked his door and opened it quietly, rubbing his reddened eyes.  
Nya gave him a sad smile.  
“Did something happen between you and him? Cole wouldn’t say.”  
Jay shook his head.  
“Not like you to be quiet.”  
Jay made a pained smile.  
“Hasn’t cut out your tongue, has he? Still got it?”  
“Yeah. He probably should have. I’m sure you’d all appreciate me shutting up.”  
He tried to play it off as a dark joke.  
Nya wasn’t having it.  
“Don’t. We love your constant noise. It’s distressing when you’re like this. Are you sure you and Cole are good? He looked super upset.”  
“I don’t - I hope so. I don’t know. I wouldn’t be surprised if - don’t worry. Tell him I’m fine.”  
“Why don’t you tell him?”  
“I’m not ready to leave my room. Ha.”  
Jay fiddled with his bedsheets.  
With a nod, Nya left, shutting the door behind her.  
Jay lay back.  
Right. He has to emotionally prepare himself for a break up. He won’t cry like a fucking idiot this time.  
Carlos had hated it when he cried.

It was after a while that Cole rocked up to his door. Probably planning how to do it delicately.  
It’s fine. Jay was ready. Probably.  
“You can come in.”  
His voice was still croaky. Great start.  
“Hey.” Cole shuffled in, holding a mug of something.  
“Hi.”  
There was a stretch of silence.  
“I, uh, I made you some coffee. Can I sit down?”  
“Thanks. Yeah, yeah.”  
Jay moved to the side slightly, Cole settling next to him. Not too close. But not far either.  
Perfect break up position.  
Jay took his mug, trying not to show his shaking hands too obviously.  
“Do you want to talk about it?”  
“About what?”  
“Earlier.”  
Jay was quiet, before saying “sure.”  
Cole moved his hand slowly, placing it on Jay’s thigh.  
The man in question tensed up, and Cole removes his hand like it had been burnt.  
“Sorry. That was - sorry.”  
“It’s okay.”  
“No! It’s not! Jay have - have you, yknow,” Cole dropped his voice, “did you rape someone? Because I can’t - I can’t date someone who... yknow.”  
Cole thought..? Cole thought Jay had-?  
“You think that low of me?”  
“Well, yknow! You didn’t seem to realise that ignoring someone saying no was - Jay that’s bad. It’s like, common knowledge that that’s shit.”  
“That’s - You just,” Jay couldn’t wrap his head around it, “it’s not common knowledge. I- I would’ve... I didn’t want...”  
It all seemed to click into place for Cole just then.  
“Oh. Fuck. Fucking hell. Jay, I’m- I’m so sorry. Oh my god. That’s... that’s disgusting.”  
“Sorry.”  
Cole stared at him.  
“Sorry? For what? Jay, you have nothing to apologise for. You... I will fucking - did you report? No, of course not, you didn’t even realise...”  
“Sorry for not telling you.”  
“Jay... you - that’s - what? You don’t have to say sorry for that. No, fucking hell, I’m sorry. I didn’t know. If I had, I wouldn’t have - I wouldn’t have mentioned anything.”  
“You said it’s disgusting.”  
Cole looked at him.  
“Yeah. Rape is disgusting. Not you.”  
“It’s okay. He called me disgusting too.”  
Cole stood up suddenly.  
“Don’t. Don’t, don’t you dare. You are not. You’re - you’re everything but.”  
Jay didn’t reply.  
“What’s his fucking name? I’ll fucking kill him. I will fucking kill him.”  
“Don’t. I loved him.”  
“What? How could you love a man who -? Oh my fucking god. You were in a relationship with him? Oh jesus. Jesus. He hurt you?”  
No reply again.  
“That’s why - Oh my god, the plates... Nya... Fucking hell that’s why you’re- I am so sorry.”  
“That’s why I’m what?”  
“Jay. It’s why you’re afraid.”  
“I’m not afraid! Afraid of what?”  
“Jay. It’s why you’re afraid of me.”  
“I’m not - I’m... That’s...”  
“Jesus. I’m so sorry.”  
Jay flinched subconsciously as Cole moved to reach his hand.  
Oh.  
He was afraid. Of Cole.

“Sorry, I shouldn't have done that. It’s okay. You’re okay.”  
Jay’s heart thumped.  
He was scared. Of his boyfriend.  
“I don’t want to - Cole, I love you, I don’t want-!”  
Oh! Fuck. He’d just told Cole he loved him for the first time.  
Cole’s eyes widened.  
“I - Jay, I love you too. I really do. But I’m not sure it’s safe for you to - I really, really don’t want you to end up getting hurt. I would never want to hurt you. Emotionally speaking.”  
“Cole. I’m scared.”  
The earth ninja nodded.  
“I know. I don’t know how to fix this.”  
“No. I’m scared I’m going to lose you.”  
“Huh?” Cole tilted his head.  
“You’re not Car- You’re Cole. You’re not gonna hurt me. Please don’t leave me.”  
Silence.  
“I want - I want you to help me get better. I don’t want to be like this. I’m not usually afraid of - only when I feel like I’ve done something wrong.”  
“I’m sure he made you think the smallest things were wrong.”  
Jay pursed his lips.  
“Jay. I said I don’t want to hurt you. I’m not going to break up with you. I - it’s selfish of me, but I want to be with you as long as I can.”  
“Thank fuck.”  
Jay’s relief made him throw himself at Cole.  
Wait, Carlos wouldn’t have liked that - Carlos would’ve...  
Cole made a little surprised “oh!” and wrapped his arms around Jay. Not tightly. Soft, relaxed.  
Right. Cole wasn’t Carlos.  
Jay concentrated on his breaths.  
In. And out.  
“We’re gonna work this out. And I’m not gonna tell you everything will go away completely, because it probably won’t. But I’m gonna help soften as much as I can.”  
“What if you get bored?”  
“With you? Doubt it.”

They were making good progress. Jay had even initiated a kissing session, which was scary for him. Carlos had never let him have control over when they kissed. Cole encouraged with supportive “mms” and hand squeezing.  
Cole didn’t yell at him. Or suddenly grab him, or call him... things.  
Cole was calm, and always asked permission before cuddling, and only called him stuff like “sparky” and “bluebird” and “sunshine.” It made Jay blush, and the other ninja teased the soppy names, questioning the switch from “baby” or “babe” to “rosebud” or Jay’s personal favourite “twilight.”  
Cole waved them off, claiming the were “too generic.”  
In actuality, Cole had asked Jay if Carlos had ever called him those things. When Jay said yes, Cole hummed.  
The next morning had been filled with dozens of other affections.  
Cole had slipped up once or twice, like “Baby! Wait, I meant sweetpea. Sorry.”  
Jay couldn’t care less about the ‘mistakes’. The fact that Cole was actively trying to help Jay made everything a kajillion times better.

Jay dropped a mug whilst washing. It smashed. He looked at it. Cole looked at it.  
“It’s alright,” Cole said softly, “you’re okay.”  
Jay nodded slowly.  
“Hey! Another fucking thing broken? Jesus, you know how much this shit costs?” Kai was in one of his bad moods, storming in and glaring at the shards.  
Jay could feel his shaky breaths coming in.  
“It was me. I did it. Sorry.” Cole scooped up the fragments, calm and collected.  
“Be more careful. Jeez, didn’t realise you had such butterfingers.” Kai waltzed out, presumably to calm himself down with a punching bag.  
Jay settled the bowl he was washing onto the side. He stared at Cole.  
“You okay? Everything good? Jay, why are you looking at me like - oomf!”  
Jay tackled Cole into a kiss.  
It was reckless.  
Carlos would have -  
Cole isn’t Carlos. Carlos was a bad man.  
Cole wasn’t.  
The man in question held Jay’s hips, rubbing them gently, looking for any signs of distress. When there were none, he kept rubbing.  
Jay entwined his fingers in Cole’s hair. The kiss was slow, and steady, and warm, and it had Jay on his tiptoes.  
They pulled apart when Jay put his feet back on the ground.  
“Wow... that was... wow.” Cole touched his own lips, almost awed.  
“You’re everything.” Jay states defiantly.  
Cole smiles and stroked his cheek.  
“I’m so proud of you.”  
Jay flushed, and buried his head in Cole’s shoulder.

They were snuggling, as per usual. Cole peppered kisses all over Jay’s nose.  
“You’re gorgeous. You know that? I’m so lucky.”  
Jay snorted.  
“Have you looked in a mirror lately? I’ve got nothing on you.”  
Cole smirked, picking up Jay’s hand, interlocking their fingers.  
“If I’m handsome you must be god-like.”  
“Depending on which god we’re talking about, that could be an insult.”  
“Well, definitely not Hephaestus.”  
“If I was, you could be my Aphrodite.”  
“Baby. I wouldn’t cheat on you. Maybe we can be Hades and Persephone.”  
“Which one of us got kidnapped?”  
“Shush, that’s only one version!”  
They may or may not have bingewatched a bunch of Ancient Greek documentaries.  
Jay cupped Cole’s cheek, stroking his chin with his thumb.  
He’d gotten more forward lately. It was a big deal, for him at least.  
Cole beamed at him, moving his head to plant a kiss on Jay’s thumb.  
The lightning ninja hummed.  
Cole then smooched the tip of Jay’s nose.  
And Jay leapt to a decision.  
“I think I’m ready.”  
“Hmm? For what?”  
Jay propped himself up on his elbow. There was still time to take it back, with Cole being none the wiser...  
No. It’s okay. Jay wanted this.  
“Some sexy times.”  
Cole was quiet.  
“Are you sure? 100%?”  
Jay nodded.  
Cole reached out for his arm.  
“But, really? Like really sure? Jay, this is a big deal.”  
“I’ve been thinking about it for a while. And I trust you. You won’t - you’re not gonna hurt me.”  
Cole mulled it over.  
“Do you want to be on top?”  
“Cole. Do I look like a top to you?”  
“Maybe we could try a position that doesn’t have me laying over you.”  
“Cole. Rocky. Mudboy. Honey. Let’s not overanalyse it. Just, let’s get in the vibe.”  
Cole hesitated.  
“It’s okay. I promise.”  
With the final reassurance, Cole initiated a kiss, Jay’s arm wrapped around him.  
Jay would never be completely okay. There were always going to be shit times.  
But things were getting better. And that was enough.


End file.
